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Ophiuchus? More Like "OH-FUCK-THIS!!!"

If you haven't heard yet, the Zodiac calendar just got a major shakeup, and thanks to astrologer Parke Kunkle, Ophiuchus now brings the sign total 13. Good news (or at least what I've read off Twitter) is the change only affects folks born after 2009, but if you're curious, here's the supposed changes:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

You're a dick, Parke Kunkle. Thanks for ruining Wierd Al's Horoscope song.

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I'm gonna ignore that, just like I ignore those who tell me Pluto isn't a planet anymore. Well I grew up learning about the NINE PLANETS in our solar system, so it's still a planet to me damnit! Lol.

Funny you mention that, 'cause earlier today, I was telling my sister how much the scientific community was screwing up everything we grew up with. I mean, first Pluto and now, this crap?! Not cool!

It isn't just the scientific community. It seems like everything these days is out to attack our childhood! We can't even have fun cereal commercials anymore without some whacko parents threatening to sue. And I remember a time when it was actually cool to get a Burger King kid's meal. Have you seen their menu lately? NOT ANYMORE. I miss the 90s! :(

lol, you've got a point there. Damn, I sure miss the 90's!

lol, I figured that was the case. Thanks for the reassurance.:)

either way i was refusing to be a pisces. those things are not me at all. as much as i hate being capricorn, i fit it pretty much exactly lol

I was never going to give up being a Leo, stubborn like that.

The Pluto not being a planet still irks me. I can imagine telling my kids/grandkids, "Pluto was so a planet back in my day."

lol, yeah, I don't think I could bear identifying myself as a Pisces, when I've spent my entire life as an Aries. I mean, to go from a ram to a fish?! I think I'll stick with being a ram...

And yes, Pluto will always be a planet to me. Why? Because that whole demotion screwed up Sailor Moon! The team isn't complete without Sailor Pluto (though I think it's ironic that Pluto's now a "dwarf" planet, considering Sailor Pluto's the tallest member of the team).

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